One More Time

August 12th, 2008.

I knew it would come, but I didn't think it would be so soon. It is the final night of my vacation in Puerto Rico. A bittersweet endeavor, to say the least.

I believe that my life is an encyclopedia of symbolism. An unscripted, unrehearsed, unedited piece of art that can never be emulated.

Today, a new story was completed.

Each moment of realization was fertilization to the seed of wisdom that was planted before the summer began.

I traveled a thousand miles to find myself.
But the truth is, I was never lost in the first place.

I never would have thought that getting away from my life would have given me a greater appreciation for it. But it has.

Even more striking to me is that Puerto Rico, of all places, was where I acquired this nostalgic and appreciative state of being.

But despite all of that, today was still an emotional day for me.

It was only fitting that as I walked back to my grandmother's house for possibly the final time, the dark and heavy clouds formed as rain poured down on my body.

But then I looked up at the dark sky.
And I saw a beautiful rainbow.
Bright and vibrant as it stood apart from the rest of the sky.

A ray of hope. A rainbow of hope, I should say.

A summer of excitement, adversity, discovery, love.
It was a little bit of everything.

But I want a lot of everything. I want everything of everything.

I am not coming back to New York to start a new life.

The way I see it, every time I wake up it's new life.

I want it all in the new life. But it starts with a rainbow over the clouds.

Get your prescription to fit your description

You have to love the modern day outfit of the urban teenager.

Shirt...$ 29.99
Jeans...$ 59.99
Sneakers...$ 139.99
T-Mobile Sidekick...$ 299.99

...wait...what?

Sidekick?

This groundbreaking and highly addictive communication device has become more than a fashion statement. It's a way of life. And for some people, it's their only life.

As a teenager growing up in the culture mecca that is New York City, I've seen fads come and go as frequently as the 4 train at my local Union Square subway station.

Unfortunately, the Sidekick has held its own for the last six years, and I see no end in sight.

T-Mobile, the company who is responsible for the sales and distribution of the Sidekick, has mastered the art of teenage marketing, and has turned the Sidekick into one of the highest selling mobile devices of the 21st century.

As a mobile phone enthusiast myself, I have to admit that the sleek look and feel of the Sidekick is definitely one of its biggest attributes. Actually, now that I think about it, that is the only thing that I truly like about this communication tool. Technologically speaking, it fails in comparison to other devices in its price range, and against devices which are significantly more cost efficient.

Why, then, is the Sidekick so popular with teenagers ?

One reason is that many of the young consumers of the Sidekick are not technologically sound, and their purchase was simply influenced by a marketing tactic known as the bandwagon effect. The bandwagon effect is when a potential consumer is drawn to the product simply because everyone else has it. When it comes to teenagers, this method is by far the most effective.

Despite the superficial nature of the American teenager, they still value some basic features that can be discovered on this device. The most well known, and heavily over used feature is, of course, the texting. Walk down any New York City street and I am sure that you will find one or two of these young adventurers looking down at their two and a half inch screen, while typing away at 100 words per minute. Ah, what it is to be young and naive. Gotta love it.

AOL Instant Messenger is the program of choice for these young ones. If you don't have an AIM screen name you must live on another planet. Or at least another side of the country. AOL has a stronghold on the east coast instant messaging market and it has been that way for over a decade. Together, the Sidekick and AIM have revolutionized the basic yet essential instant message.

I would like to the think of the Sidekick as an urban fad -- something very over saturated, irrelevant, and hopefully should go away really fast. But it hasn't.

What has bred my distaste for this seemingly cool device? I will be glad to let you in on it.

I know many teens who own a Sidekick, and over the years I've observed their addiction to it, and how it has affected their lives.

The main reason that I dislike the Sidekick is because teenagers love to spew their personal dilemmas, and make their lovers and enemies known to the world on their away messages. I really don't care if you miss your boyfriend, you're watching a movie with your best friend, or that you hate Janet because she's jealous of you. As a matter of fact, no one cares. You're just not that important.

Away messages provide for a back and forth ping pong of insults, shout outs, and an overall accelerated form of confrontation. But for some reason this phenomena of away message nonsense seems to be significantly more prevalent with Sidekick owners than computer users. I have personally witnessed teenage girls fighting over an away message statement that stirred controversy within their social circle. This is ridiculous and ludicrous to say the least.

Teens feed off of their popularity, and the Sidekick just provides another method of filtering out the people who are just not worthy of the social limelight. Whatever that may be.

I can go on forever with this but I will end my rant here.

The Sidekick is a horrible device, and while I understand why it is very popular to a certain demographic, I wish it would just roll over and die as soon as possible.

Teenagers are infatuated with confrontation and the Sidekick has fabricated a more technologically sophisticated, but still immature, form of it.

Enough already. Put down your Sidekicks and pick up a newspaper.

Maybe the next time you say "OMG" is because you actually read something worth reading.

Dear Mama ?

"My mother couldn't show me where my manhood was. You need a man to teach you how to be a man."

Surely Tupac Shakur, the greatest lyrical force to ever walk this earth, didn't express this revealing statement if he didn't mean it.

But what does this mean to me?

Well as a man trying to find his manhood, it means a whole lot.

There is no hiding the truth that I have involuntarily become a statistic.

Just another child living in just another single parent household with just another minority mother.

I have plenty of friends, mentors, advisers, and heroes.

My mother is my number one in all of those categories.

But there is no connection that can ever emulate that of the father and son.

Or at least that's what I hear. I have no idea what that feels like. It sounds nice though.

Stability is one of the single most fulfilling and enjoyable aspects of childhood.

And for most of mine, that was completely non existent.

Sure I had a step father or two, whatever that means.

And once in a while their presence was just what I needed to fill the irreparable and gaping void that a certain man created.

But my mother was just that, my mother.

She taught me that if I believe in something then the possibilities are infinite.
She taught me that women are the most precious and gentle souls on this earth.
She taught me that if I wanted something I had to work extremely hard for it and never give up.
She taught me that I have to thank God every day for giving me the strength to wake up every morning.

Just kidding about that last one.

Hooray mom for not contaminating my brain with stories of invisible space ghosts who grant wishes when I read their encyclopedia of poison and Harry Potter spells...I mean the Holy Bible.

Mom I want to thank you for everything you've done in my life.

I wouldn't be the man that I am today if it wasn't for you.

When I'm scared you make me feel safe.

When I'm nervous you make me feel confident.

When I'm lost you make the path clear again.

There is no one who will ever be able to replace you. Ever.

And I love you for that.

We've been through some chaotic times over the last 20 years of my life, but we've made it out alive. So far.

I guess one of the most important life lessons of manhood is that you have to overcome adversity.

Even if that means learning it through trial and error. And errors I surely have made.

Note to the dads of the world: Don't let your child become another number on a graph.

They can turn you into a number as well.

You can be the #1 Dad...minus 1.