Anyone wanna play catch?

Life is a system. A calculated formula. Or at least that's what I want it to be.

I am a man of logic. A man of order. I like to plan my future. Immediate and not so immediate.

Not in an obsessive compulsive way, though.
I do not have a daily schedule. And I am very messy and disorganized. With everything.

And yet, I like to feel that I have control over the order in which events occur in my life.
This is completely absurd to say the least. Who REALLY has full control of their own life?

I sleep more comfortable at night knowing that in two more years I'm going to graduate from Hunter College and acquire a Bachelors degree.

I sleep more comfortable at night knowing that I am not going to be fired from my job.

I sleep more comfortable at night knowing that I'm smarter than almost every person that I've ever gone to school with in my life.

Apparently, I'm not sleeping comfortable tonight because it's 1 A.M. and I'm writing a blog instead of sleeping.

Big boys don't need bed times leave me alone.

Am I the only person who remembers the "I'm a big kid now!" commercial?
I just failed for remembering the slogan and not the product

*Does quick Google search*
[ Quick Intermission ]
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Oh yeah!!! Huggies Pull Up's Training Pants.

What the hell was I talking about? Oh right, um sleeping comfortable.

None of the three situations that I mentioned are hardly fact.
I may never graduate. I may get fired tomorrow. And I may be a complete idiot.

But I feel like I can control my own destiny. Whatever that means.

Logic and creative writing almost never go hand in hand.

This very blog, to most of you readers, probably makes no sense whatsoever.
But it makes much sense to me. And only me really understands me.

Oh, my mom understands me too. Most of the time. I love you mom! <3

I have a mathematics background, and although my mastery and passion of the English language has guided my academic career since I entered college, the logistic and formulaic structure of mathematics is still at the core of my day to day thinking patterns.

But that has been steadily changing.

I was once entrenched into a state of mind where success and happiness was defined by the endpoint of life. Completely disregarding the struggle that was The Journey.

The Journey is a metaphor I use constantly.

The Journey is substance.
The Journey is perseverance.
The Journey is adversity.

Unfortunately for me, this state of mind that I was once in, evolved into a culture.

A young Tupac Shakur once said, "measure a man by his actions fully, through his whole life, from the beginning to the end.”

This quote has lived on with me ever since I had the privilege of hearing it.
But it was going to take more than a quote to make me realize that I was in a culture of drowning in superficiality.

There was only one thing in this world that opened my eyes.

And it's name is Sports.

Sports are a microcosm of life.

I can honestly say that I have learned more about life watching and listening to sports than I have in any academic institution I have ever been to.

The greatest lesson that sports has taught me is that changing a culture is extremely difficult.

Sports teams serve a number of different purposes and the best sports teams are the ones that have the most organized, motivated, and hard working culture.

And only the greatest minds of the sporting world have the capacity to change an entire culture of a team and turn it into a winner.

Bill Parcells with the New York Giants, and Joe Torre with New York Yankees, two legendary and iconic ambassadors of success, are clear examples of what can happen when a person is able to identify with their team and get the best out of their players.

It starts with the establishment of a hard working culture.

A professional sports team serves the role of a brotherhood, a tradition, an unconditional passion, a business, a spectator event.

And for die hard fans: a reason to live.

I can go on and on about every single specific aspect of sports and how it relates and influences the culture of my life, but the most important connection that drives me to be a fan of sports, other than the significance of a great leader, is the fact that human nature plays such a profound role in the greatness of an athlete.

The way an athlete performs under immense pressure impacts their wins and losses.
The way an athlete maintains their health impacts their performance.
The way an athlete communicates with teammates impacts their team chemistry.

This skill set transcends the free throw line and the end zone.
It is not a skill set for a great athlete it's a skill set for a great human being.

I can go to sleep more comfortable tonight knowing this.

Take me home

I don't know why but it's become harder and harder to keep up with this blog. I keep hoping to get a hold of an intangible piece of magic called Inspiration.

I am always looking for it. Anywhere and everywhere.

What is going to spark my next blog?
What is going to entice my mind to the point where I have to log onto this website and write until I can't write anymore?

It's not as if my life hasn't been eventful. I have stories for days.
But stories only go so far. The message that is derived from the story is just as important as the story itself.

Am I too caught up in the message that I want to skip the story of life entirely and get to the end where I learn the moral? It's quite possible.

I find it ever so amazing that as much as I try to negotiate my rationality and my emotions, the end result is often not in my control.

One always gets the best of the other. Always.

I am a native of the borough of Manhattan but during the beginning of my winter vacation two weeks ago, I took a trip to The Bronx. I got off of the 6 train and walked to the bus stop that I know all too well. But before I got to that bus stop something amazing happened to me. As I inhaled the smell commonality I felt a sudden weight lifted off of my shoulders. It wasn't a situation where I was searching for a form of stress release. I didn't know that I even had this weight on my shoulders until I felt it completely vanish in the thin Bronx air.

Bronx, New York.

It is not where I sleep at night. It is not where my official address is. It's not even the place I spend most of my time in. But at that very moment I knew one thing: I was home.

For the majority of my teenage life, The Bronx was where I grew as a human being.
Here is where I developed character, maturity, and self respect.

It is a rarity when I am unable to describe my feelings with words. But being in The Bronx just feels right. I felt like this is where I belong. This is where I should be.

Not only is The Bronx the borough which I used to reside in, it is the location where my greatest and most influential friends get the privilege of living. I am almost certain that they do not feel like it is a privilege to live in The Bronx, but I can assure them that they should feel that way.

As much as I love Manhattan, and trust me I really do love it, there is no other place in New York City like The Bronx and it will forever be a place that I call home.