With his feet dangling over the full size mattress (that was anything but full for his large body) he rolled over to turn off the alarm on his worn out Blackberry. But more importantly, he rubbed the memories of yesterday's reality out of his eyes and examined his mobile device for that little 20 pixel by 20 pixel icon that only meant one thing: she sent him a text message. She rarely sends him text messages these days, but he is always expecting one. Anything close to the not-so-occasional "good morning how r u" signals the start of a great day. Without hesitation, he gives his thumbs a 20 second workout while he types his response with an ear to ear smile that made his big white teeth peak out of his mouth as if they were trying to escape.
To be continued...
About Me
- Angel F.
- Not so average Manhattan guy, living a not so average Manhattan life.
13 comments:
great start. can't way to see where this is going.
Very intriguing...
Be careful! The tense of the story changes several times.
You speak of yourself so highly!
Haha...funny analogies...good luck with the girl, I miss the anticipation of a text, or phone call! Treasure these moments!
awwww that was so cute! In such a short paragraph it was so realistically detailed! Finish it, I want to read more!! =)
Aw! that is i so cute! i hope you get this girl! good luck!
Good. Very good. Looking for more.
Just some creative criticism (that someone already mentioned) be really careful of tense changes... it gets confusing, and you want to avoid making the reader have to work so hard on something small like that. :)
but this is a great start
nice
KT, agreed, this is intriguing. Based on real life?
aw, cute, and very relatable. you "set the scene" very well.
I agree with Carlos
nice! I like that it leaves us hanging so we could come back and read the rest.
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